* See, the problem is that God gives men a brain and a penis, and only enough blood to run one at a time.* I used to think the worst thing in life is to end up all alone. It's not. The worst thing in life is to end up with people who make you feel all alone.* You're only given a little spark of madness. Don't lose it.* You will have bad times, but they will always wake you up to the stuff you weren't paying attention to.
* Some are born great. Some achieve greatness. Some get it as a graduation gift.* A nuclear bomb is a man's way of saying, 'I'm gonna fuck up the earth.' A woman would never make a nuclear bomb. They would never make a weapon that kills. They'd make a weapon that makes you feel bad for a while... That's why there should be a woman president, there would never be any wars. You know this, it's the truth. There would never be a war; just every twenty-eight days: some severe negotiations.* I'm sorry, if you were right, I'd agree with you.* Cocaine is God's way of telling you you are making too much money.
* When in doubt, go for the dick joke.
* Comedy is acting out optimism* I believe in destiny. There must be a reason that I am as I am. There must be.* In the dictionary under redundant it says see redundant.
* Death is nature’s way of saying, ‘Your table is ready.
* You're only given a little spark of madness. You mustn't lose it.* Reality what a concept !
* Spring is nature's way of saying, 'Let's party!* Make your life spectacular, I know I did.* Cricket is baseball on Valium.
* We don’t read and write poetry because it’s cute. We read and write poetry because we are members of the human race. And the human race is filled with passion. And medicine, law, business, engineering – these are noble pursuits and necessary to sustain life. But poetry, beauty, romance, love – these are what we stay alive for.* The Statue of Liberty is no longer saying, “Give me your poor, your tired, your huddled masses.” She’s got a baseball bat and yelling “You want a piece of me?* God gave men both a penis and a brain, but unfortunately not enough blood supply to run both at the same time.* We get to choose who we let in to our weird little worlds.* Smile boy, it's the sunrise.* Why do they call it rush hour if no one moves?* Please, don't worry so much. Because in the end, none of us have very long on this Earth. Life is fleeting. And if you're ever distressed, cast your eyes to the summer sky when the stars are strung across the velvety night. And when a shooting star steaks through the darkness, turning night into day...make a wish and think of me. Make your life spectacular.* Mickey Mouse to a three-year-old is a six-foot-tall RAT!* I used to think that the worst thing in life was to end up alone. The worst thing in life is to end up with people who make you feel alone.